Tuesday, August 26, 2008

WHEN LOVE DIES(Melanie T. Lim-SunStar Cebu)

SOMETIMES, love dies. And there is no easy explanation for it.

Some of us see it coming. Some of us don’t. But most of us try not to see it at all. Because it is easier to pretend that all is well rather than admit that your dreams have been shattered and you are left only with the broken pieces of your heart.
It hurts to imagine the person we love with someone else. It hurts to no longer be the object of his affections. It hurts to no longer be the centre of his universe. It hurts to no longer be wanted. It hurts to be discarded, replaced and dumped unceremoniously like an old rag that has outlived its usefulness.
It hurts to no longer be loved.
But it happens everyday to the best among us- to the beautiful, the kind, the talented, the smart, the successful, the multi-awarded. It happens to the perfect wife, sister, friend and mother. It happens to the civic leader, the CEO, the cover girl.
Whether or not it’s something we did or didn’t do, sometimes, love just dies. And over thinking (as my sister would say) would serve no purpose.
To be loved is a blessing. But to no longer be loved is not necessarily a tragedy.
We’ve been raised since childhood to believe that love must last forever. And perhaps it must. But isn’t it possible to simply savour the moment and become richer by it without wanting to possess it forever? Isn’t it possible to love and let go and love again?
Isn’t it possible to love forever but to love different people over time?
It’s all right to no longer be loved. It’s all right to stop loving. It’s all right to mourn for love’s losses but to condemn yourself to a life of misery because your love did not last forever is foolhardy. If love must die, let it go peacefully into the night.
But don’t keep score. Love is not a contest. It is not a competition to see who emerges the prettiest, the craftiest or toughest. Love is what it is- a GIFT. It cannot be forced on anyone. Neither can it be forced out of anyone. So let it be.
When love dies, hold on to the memories. But let go of the one you love.