Break-down!

Ahhh... The smell of the holidays is soothing my senses... I'm now excited to spend my Christmas break at my hometown. Hmmmm.. The thought of home cooked meals like Buwad and Utan Bisaya is really making me itch to go home. Right now! The taste of beer is another enticing prospect that I'm looking forward for my vacation. But the most wonderful thing of all is, I don't get to work any more! No more waking up early (9:00 am is way too early for me), no more scratching my head (without the itch), no more researching and writing non-quality articles just because the quota is now 3,500 words in one day! Not to mention those pesky LTV's! My, my... this year's Christmas break will certainly be a breath of fresh air. Whew!

All Saints/Souls Day 2008

October has come and gone and I haven’t really posted a real post. The scratchy feeling of writing something is nagging me again tonight. I kept meaning to really write about the past national holidays (All Saints and Souls day) but it is now mid- month that is why I call this entry some sort of cramming.

Well, let’s start with my homeward journey to Cebu’s northernmost town, Bogo City. Naturally, during these special holidays, the North Terminal is ready to explode with passengers, all in a hurry to get to their respective destinations. A distinctive Filipino tradition is that whenever there's a special holiday being celebrated, it is instinctive and natural to go home to their own provinces. For me, the required travel also means a slight vacation on the side especially since Bogo is haven to wonderful, scenic beaches. In fact, the northward journey which starts from the town of Consolacion is jotted with beach lots and properties all along the coastline. Some towns such as Danao, Carmen and Catmon can really boast of sandy, white beaches located just along the national road. It is because of these roadside attractions that I am able to enjoy the trip despite of the heat and smoke of fuming buses and other vehicles. When we reach Lugo, vendors along the road offer us with Budbod Kabog, a local delicacy made of corn extracts which is really mouth-watering once you get the hang of it. At last, we reach Brgy. Lapaz, passed along the Shrine of Mary Immaculate, and the Municipal Hall of Bogo greets us just located at the left side the road. This is the first landmark which signals that you are approaching the Bogo proper.

Thankfully, the three hour ride to my good, old home town was over and I finally hit home. However, all my folks were already at the cemetery paying respects to our dear departed ones. My brother even texted me to follow them if I can still manage it. But the heat and dust from travel never fails to make me dizzy that is why I choose to go home first. Anyway, my plan is to visit the cemetery and light candles on November 2nd to avoid the bulk of people generally expected to make their visits on the 1st.

I had a good sleep after which a good home made meal (thanks to my Ma's ever homey cooking skills :=)). When night came, I spent some time with friends hanging out in Bogo's Pantalan, it's the ever popular tambayan of Bogohanons. I chose not to make out most of the night since my younger brother is with me. We made our way home at around 12:00 midnight. I was up early the next day. I have to pack my things again for the trip back to Cebu City. But first, I went to my Aunt's burial place, lighted candles and said a prayer, hoping that She's in a safe place with the angels above together with all of my departed folks.

Once again, I sat in a Ceres bus for the ride back to where my work, responsibilities and life are. I'll be missing my family, friends and of course, good old Bogo. But for sure, I'll be back for the next big celebration- Christmas! Definitely, another trip worth looking forward into.


XS: Time, time, time! I realize now that if only I could give up my drinking sessions, I would have access to ample time for writing.

For Ngap2

Usher Separated

Oh no, no, no, no

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Let Go of Fear

Too much fear keeps individuals from truly living their lives. How?



Feel this:
Have you ever experienced that unfathomable, gripping fear wrenching your gut without any possible escape wherever you look? How ever you want to be in another place, there simply is no escape. Not another exit route to go. Nowhere to hide.
Then you start to stop trying in finding ways to get out. And despair consumes you.

Picture this:
There's this philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard who fell in love with a woman. But fearing they would end up in vain, he intentionally broke up their engagement. Still, he continued philosophizing about love but unable to really experience and feel it.
The scenario is somewhat pathetic, right?

To love truly is to let go of one's fear. This is aptly put by Gerald G. Jampolsky's book, “Love is Letting Go of Fear.”
When you love without reservations and drawbacks, that is the real time of being in love.

Let me discuss the commonly over abused phrase, “I love you.”
If you really, really dissect it, the letter “I” passes “Love” to the word, “You”. Thus, if “I” is not yet capable or does not contain love, then what can it give to “You”? Surely, before love can pass from I to You, there should be love from the “I” first.

This means, before somebody can really love another, he/she should have sufficient love within him/herself.
Hence, before saying I love you the next time, be certain that you already have enough love for yourself to be able to truly love another being.
And this, requires letting go of your own fears, your own insecurities, your own doubts. If one is finally able to achieve this, then that is the time you can truly love another person.

Exercise Heals Pain of Abandonment

I am posting this in the hope of giving hope to those that have been abandoned. When you suddenly become a pathetic jerk despite of everything you did. Whew... Good luck to us all!

There you are dumped like the proverbial hot potato.

Take Julie. She was devastated. The man she went out for three years dumped her and with it, their engagement was called off.

She believed that they had a great relationship. Suddenly, and out of the blue, he tells her that he wants to take a break. He is unsure of what he wants in a relationship, and he is calling off the wedding.

Julie is devastated and suffering from the worst kind of rejection. The kind of dismissal when there is no siren warning like a tornado ripping through your living room at dawn. She had no idea that her man was going to abandon her.

In order to work through this pain, Julie can either push it away by denying its existence or face it directly.

If she avoids dealing with this pain, she have difficulty ever resolving it, and she also may suffer from physical or emotional problems. So she has to face the situation and deal with it.

Psychotherapist Bob Livingstone says that among other things you can do to heal from the pain is to get some exercise. Simple exercise can ease the pain. Here are seven ways to do it:
1. First of all, realize that feeling traumatized after getting dumped in this manner is normal. However, you need a way to process your feelings and work through them.
2. Write down an emotional pain question such as “How could he do this to me?” or “How do I feel about him now?” The purpose of writing down this question is to prepare you to focus on it once you begin your exercise.
3. Any aerobic exercise for 15 minutes or more will increase your endorphin levels and bring about a feeling of calmness. Walking, running, skating and swimming are some forms of exercise that you can participate in.
4. Focus on your emotional pain question while you are exercising. While you are working out, the brain chemistry changes, and it gives you a sense of self-confidence and inner peace.
5. Listen to music that provokes an emotional response while you are working out and focusing on your emotional pain question.
6. Choose music that you know will bring up intense memories of your former lover or other songs that trigger earlier memories.
7. Sometimes, these earlier memories can help us gather up the strength to deal with heartbreak.
8. After your workout, write down your thoughts and feelings in journal form.
9. You will notice that writing down your experience will further advance your feelings of sadness, anger and betrayal.

Eventually, you will learn to accept this devastating loss and move on with your life. You will no longer feel like a victim, and your heart will be open for positive energy that may come your way.

-AT's Note: Extracted from SunStar Cebu's Lifestyle section.