Pages

Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Night I Passed Away

It was the night for the Vesperas of our Barrio Fiesta that I finally decided to go. I can hear the disco music loudly and I can feel that the whole barrio is buzzing with lively activities. I so long to be out there: celebrate with my friends, walk out to our plaza, play bingo and do all kinds of stuff that a free bloke is able to do. To say that I'm bored to death is an understatement. So I want to literally die to escape this cell that has taken me hostage for years now. Or, is it really years now that I haven't been able to walk outside? But I thought I saw birds flying yesterday in the corn fields...This confusion and a lot other unexplainable stuff has even strengthened my resolve to free myself. Oh, if only I could bolt out of the door and run through the wet soil in the corn fields. But how can I get past the rails guarding me? How do I make that ultimate escape? Death. Yes, by dying, I am sure to live again. 
I was tired of staring at the walls of my confinement. Day and night, I just sat and stare; still nothing changes. I stare at the wallpaint and day by day there is no change. Or perhaps it is starting to fade but I cannot tell the change at all due to the monotony of staring at it all the time.
I have long been fading away. My mother has sensed it. She checked on me last night, her face quite flushed and worry showed in her face. In fact, the visit turned out to be one of those "drama episodes". She ending up crying and I, feeling bewildered. Why would she cry over me when all I want is to see the world outside?

... to be continued...