Once again, I sucked at it
I handled it badly and now I'm on the brink of despair again
Just what is that damn formula for a relationship to last?
I thought I was more than ready,
But I sucked and there is no escaping it
I have to face it fair and square;
I must accept that I failed- again
And although I am hurting and so disappointed,
I find solace in the thought that I won't be wrecking havoc once more
Because I'm letting go
I'm letting go now that there is still a sense of respect left,
No matter how my heart entraps me-
I have to force myself to look the other way
Through this, no more pain, shame and torment will shatter both our hearts.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Be Careful of My Heart – Tracy Chapman
You and your sweet smile
You and all your tantalizing ways
You and your honey lips
You and all the sweet things that they say
You and your wild wild ways
One day you just up and walked away
You felt me hurting
But I can forgive you for that now
You taught me something
Something took me half my life to learn
When you give all yourself away
Just tell them to be careful of your heart
Be careful of my heart
Be careful of this heart of mine
Be careful of my heart
heart
I just might break and send some splitters flying
Be careful of my heart
heart
Be careful
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
Thought you took it all
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
And now you're gone
But I'm not breaking down
And I'm not falling apart
I just lost a little faith
When you broke my heart
Given a chance
I might try it again
But I wouldn't risk it all this time
I'd save
A little love for myself
Enough for my heart to mend
A little love for myself
One day I just might love again
One day some sweet smile might turn my heart
One day I just might give all myself away
One day
One day
One day
You and all your tantalizing ways
You and your honey lips
You and all the sweet things that they say
You and your wild wild ways
One day you just up and walked away
You felt me hurting
But I can forgive you for that now
You taught me something
Something took me half my life to learn
When you give all yourself away
Just tell them to be careful of your heart
Be careful of my heart
Be careful of this heart of mine
Be careful of my heart
heart
I just might break and send some splitters flying
Be careful of my heart
heart
Be careful
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
Thought you took it all
You you you
You you you
You you you
Took my love
And now you're gone
But I'm not breaking down
And I'm not falling apart
I just lost a little faith
When you broke my heart
Given a chance
I might try it again
But I wouldn't risk it all this time
I'd save
A little love for myself
Enough for my heart to mend
A little love for myself
One day I just might love again
One day some sweet smile might turn my heart
One day I just might give all myself away
One day
One day
One day
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Ironic Life
I’ve realised how life can really play games on you
If today, you are feeling total bliss, you will never know
What tomorrow will bring
If right now, you are singing this tune:
“I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together”
Without any clue that the next day will bring you:
“I need to know girl where do we go from here
Now that it's all up in the atmosphere
I found out that you cheated on me
Like I cheated on you with her
Now we're even what happens from here
Girl I'll break my pride and say this
I know that we both crossed forbidden ranges
Let's take our time
Don't cross the river
Back to the place we begun”
So, we just have to be content on what’s at hand
And what’s handed down to us this very minute,
Whether to bask in happiness, or struggle with pain
Holding on is really life's profound meaning.
If today, you are feeling total bliss, you will never know
What tomorrow will bring
If right now, you are singing this tune:
“I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together”
Without any clue that the next day will bring you:
“I need to know girl where do we go from here
Now that it's all up in the atmosphere
I found out that you cheated on me
Like I cheated on you with her
Now we're even what happens from here
Girl I'll break my pride and say this
I know that we both crossed forbidden ranges
Let's take our time
Don't cross the river
Back to the place we begun”
So, we just have to be content on what’s at hand
And what’s handed down to us this very minute,
Whether to bask in happiness, or struggle with pain
Holding on is really life's profound meaning.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Sunscreen
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97
“WEAR SUNSCREEN!”
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, “sunscreen” would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice NOW!
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind,
The kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40.
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.
“Brother and sister together we’ll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you’re hurting but I’ve been waiting there for you
and I’ll be there just helping you out
whenever I can…”
Get to know your parents.
You never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings.
They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,
the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in “New York City” once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in “Northern California” once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy,
but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
“Brother and sister together we’ll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you’re hurting but I’ve been waiting there for you
and I’ll be there just helping you out
whenever I can…”
Everybody’s Free, Everybody’s Free
To Feel Good!
“WEAR SUNSCREEN!”
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, “sunscreen” would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice NOW!
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind,
The kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40.
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much,
or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance
Even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.
“Brother and sister together we’ll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you’re hurting but I’ve been waiting there for you
and I’ll be there just helping you out
whenever I can…”
Get to know your parents.
You never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings.
They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,
the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in “New York City” once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in “Northern California” once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy,
but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
“Brother and sister together we’ll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you’re hurting but I’ve been waiting there for you
and I’ll be there just helping you out
whenever I can…”
Everybody’s Free, Everybody’s Free
To Feel Good!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
All About Eve
Perhaps I woke up on the wrong side of the bed because I can't quite get rid of the blues that's creeping me today. Or it might be that I'm going to lose IT. With the way I gather the latest developments (or is it improvement?) on your life last night, I'm halfway scared of what might happen when you finally decide. You see, I've come to value your presence whenever I need you. Your being there always when even it is not that important. The way you come to my aid when I get overwhelmed with even the most mundane things. These and more of the being YOU is what keeps me into rushing through life with confidence. The knowledge that you are there no matter what, and the assurance that you will always be with me when important highlights in my life happen, are enough to keep me strong and positive every time I wake up in the day. You see, I've gotten very used to your unconditional support, understanding and love.
Now, the implication would be that I will lose all of these because you have to move on. Yes, I totally agree that you should experience another LOVE again. Knowing what you have been through- you of all people deserve only the best and the most genuine of happiness that a unique individual like you should have. I know I have to support you all the way too. I know I must be the shoulder to lean and cry on whenever another set of heartaches comes your way. I should reciprocate the countless times you have brightened my day by being happy with the exciting path you are about to take. But why do I feel threatened instead? Why do I have this unexplainable fear that is gripping my gut even though I convince myself that everything will be alright? Oh, I hate this feeling- once again, I have to go through this. But away you should go and away you must. If you get back before you return, and if I ain't around waiting, then I must be somewhere looking for you...
Now, the implication would be that I will lose all of these because you have to move on. Yes, I totally agree that you should experience another LOVE again. Knowing what you have been through- you of all people deserve only the best and the most genuine of happiness that a unique individual like you should have. I know I have to support you all the way too. I know I must be the shoulder to lean and cry on whenever another set of heartaches comes your way. I should reciprocate the countless times you have brightened my day by being happy with the exciting path you are about to take. But why do I feel threatened instead? Why do I have this unexplainable fear that is gripping my gut even though I convince myself that everything will be alright? Oh, I hate this feeling- once again, I have to go through this. But away you should go and away you must. If you get back before you return, and if I ain't around waiting, then I must be somewhere looking for you...
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